Tag: Newsbrief

Newsbrief X: Good Samaritan And Ex-Ornithologist Perishes After Attacked And Devoured By Ravenous Pigeons

New York – In a disastrous instance of bloody and feathered irony, 83-year-old Anthony Greath met his untimely demise while feeding the very birds he had spent the last 37 years of his life studying. Mr. Greath had been in the same spot at The Pond in Central Park near 59th street, ready to do […]

September 6, 2006
Newsbrief IX: Fanatic Avian Faction Planning Attack On May Sweeps

New York – Tensions about avian flu outbreaks around the world are flying high as the media and the World Health Organization continue to warn us of an incoming judgment day where riots, paranoia and anarchy will rule supreme right up until the bit where we all keel over and die. Fear on the grapevine […]

May 25, 2006
NewsBrief Part VIII: Waiting Three Days And Counting For Date: “She’s Coming, I Know It”

Naperville – Phillips R. Sacks, a veteran greeter at the local Wal-Mart would like to let Mary Reighton know he is still waiting at Kit-Kat Tsunami, a trendy downtown pool lounge and tobacco shop to begin their first date. ‘Sure, she didn’t seem interested at first, but things change. I remember there was a time […]

May 24, 2006
NewsBrief Part VIII: Waiting Three Days And Counting For Date: "She’s Coming, I Know It"

Naperville – Phillips R. Sacks, a veteran greeter at the local Wal-Mart would like to let Mary Reighton know he is still waiting at Kit-Kat Tsunami, a trendy downtown pool lounge and tobacco shop to begin their first date. ‘Sure, she didn’t seem interested at first, but things change. I remember there was a time […]

May 24, 2006