Ideas Marinating Blog
Busy a Sunday it has been. For the most part pleasurable. Went out with the social group again. I have to, in order to organize it into a lean, mean social machine. Still a few people short from all those who RSVP’ed – read my entry on Insomnia to get what I am talking about.
This time, for some live Jazz at The Pilot which in case you may not know, it’s located in Yorkville, but sans the posturing and attitude. As a hole in the wall, is classified as a tavern, you would think it to have a lot of everybody-knows-your-name regulars. Which in fact it does, some going back at least 20 years. Although I don’t think the regulars go around advertising it, as it lacks the glamour of other life achieving benchmarks.
Either way the music hit the spot. Sure there were a few holiday songs which I know I’ll get sick of hearing throughout the season. However if this is going to happen either way, then we might as well start off with a welcoming Jazz arrangement of them, as if to wash our auditory palate clean –a musical wasabi if you will— before the regular renditions hit full force.
The main singer, Laila Biali is very talented and the place was very intimate in size. We got lucky getting a table near the band, the acoustics were all right like most places in Toronto but it was free –aside food and drink— which would have been asking too much.
I am happy to report that as time goes, more and more familiar faces are starting to show.
An excellent sign that people are starting to get connect, which as the organizer, I am starting to feel like I am making a positive difference.
It was fun. But getting right to the point, how many showed up? Physically about 12.
But the funny thing is that our reservation got moved, so there is chance people might have showed up, gone right to the back of the place (where our location was supposed to be but was not), and then left. For example there were these two girl that came and sat on the bar, chilled for about two hours and finally approached us and ask: Are you part of the social group?
Well, yes. so they joined us. The fact is that I am still wondering how many people might have showed up. Mmm, the mind wonders.
Well, I guess I will find out soon enough whe people start emailing me. But as I said before, I surprised the manager since twenty people did not show. Ah, being an organizer can be such a variable.
‘She tried to make you feel guilty?’ I asked my friend Alex.
He nodded. ‘Wow, how do you feel about it?’ I could tell it was bothering him.
‘I assume that you’re not talking anymore?’
He nodded again.
It was peculiar –I had to admit it— but funny. In a horrible sort of way funny.
Okay, so here is what happened:
My friend goes to a birthday party of an old female friend at this place on Queen St. West called…well, let’s keep the actual name out, as you never know who might one day be reading this.
The birthday party was going well as pints, martinis, cigarettes and pictures were getting drunk, smoked and taken. Everyone was smiling and communal. It sounded like a pretty good party to me. Soon, after a few drinks everyone was everyone’s good old friend and it is normally then when some men, after having just a bit of ‘liquid-courage’ will approach the one girl in the party that might have caught their eye.
‘So, how do you know Suzanne?’ was his opening question to the cute blonde who was smiling with a welcoming smile reserved for only close friends or those who we instinctually find sexually appealing. There was obviously some attraction happening there. ‘And then what happened?’
They talked, laughed and flirted themselves from the rest of the pack and into a quiet corner of the lounge. He found out about her job, aspirations and even about her pet dog Mildred. It sounded promising.
Alex although not shy with women in the least, barely ever shares any info about his private life, even to me and I have known the guy forever. This girl, let’s call her Lisa, had really made an impression on him.
So it was no surprise when the party finally died down and everybody was outside wondering what to do with the rest of the night. They both agreed to take their leave together.
‘I was going east and so was she, so I thought me and Lisa could walk until we went our separate ways.’ That’s nice, walk with her and get to know her better I thought. We have all been there, you meet someone you get along so well you find yourself wishing for the night not to end. ‘It felt really good. At one point she said her hands were cold and put her right hand in my coat pocket along with mine. We were holding hands and hoping it no one would notice our connection. We said good-bye to the few smokers who were still deciding where to go and started walking.’
This was getting more interesting by the minute. ‘Aha, go on…and then?’
After walking for about twenty minutes, she decided that it was time to let me know she was married and her husband was waiting at home.
‘Just like that?!’
‘Just like that…’
‘Oh. That sucks. What did you do?
‘Aside feeling foolish and weird, well, nothing…I wasn’t sure what to do.’
‘So what did you do?’
‘We kept on walking.’
‘Ah. Not much talking then, eh?’
‘Unless you are into that sort of thing…’
So kept on walking they did until the proverbial fork on the road came. Knowing Alex, I am sure he was happy when that happened –I mean— who wouldn’t? But the night wasn’t quite over yet. Lisa then asked since it was so late if he could be kind enough to walk her home, eight blocks away.
Which leads us back to what was bothering Alex. He felt bad for leaving a woman in the middle of the city at 3:00am even if she was married. I mean, technically that didn’t change the fact that he was leaving her in a deserted street. But what would happen if he walked her with her husband at home? Can you imagine it?
What did he do? You ask?
He refused. He declined and told her that he would only walk her if she needed to, but that she could now easily take a taxi. She wasn’t to far from home and it would avoid the possible serious consequences of the mixture of two men and a very flirtatious wife.
She in turn was said a cold ‘Fine!” and walked in separate directions.
But that wasn’t the end of it. A few days later…Alex told he had spoken with Suzanne and confirmed that Lisa was in fact married. He also told me he spoken with Lisa, as it turns out she had given him her business card too. In their short conversation she called him as being less than a gentleman and a looser for leaving her. I begged Alex to tell me if he reminded Lisa she had kept the fact that she was married until the very end. That would have been what I would call a counter-check, but no, our boy failed to do so. She also said that she was going to tell all her friends –Suzanne included— of his ‘fake’ behaviour towards women and then hanged up. Ah, the drama of today’s battle of the sexes.
Do I believe this whole story? Hey, why not? It sounds too good to be made up. All the facts came from the horse’s mouth, but of course for the sake off all involved I did change the names as in the end it takes nothing from it all. Also I did ask for permission to post this, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t ask first?
In the end, what could I do but to tell my Alex that everything will work out? Will this change his ways? Well, I sure hope he doesn’t again to him or anyone for that matter. Since to all who reads this will know the underlying themes that were going on the minds of these two at least for some of the time. Do I agree with their actions? I have my opinions, but hey, I am just the messenger. Don’ shoot me.
You know, the one thing that ticks me off about being the organizer of 300+ people social group? http://newlysingle.meetup.com/450/ …Is that you never know for sure how many will end up dropping by. Don’t get me wrong, I love the gig and meet new people constantly and so far everyone who I have met has been polite, friendly and willing to increase their circle of friends. In other words, I am glad to have met them.
In this world there are two type of people, those who organizer and those who attend. I prefer the former. It’s far easier than just trying to work out something last minute with your friends and for some reason, people don’t like to make decisions, I guess no one wants to be the fall guy.
I am the blessing and the nightmare of restaurants and bars managers. Do I book a table of ten and then thirty people show up or visa versa? Uh? Let me flip for it! Why not make the stakes higher? Fifty people say that will or might drop by at my party. Should I only book for twenty? Sounds safe, no? Well, what the hell. I make the reservation.
That party is in two hours. I will let you know.