Ideas Marinating Blog

Sometimes I am glad that I do not have a huge readership. Mostly friends, and friends of friends; and on those rare occasions, friends of friends of friends…Uh, okay, perhaps it is not that small. Okay, anyway, so as far as blogging things of interest, I wanted to announce that as of last week, I have been part of the RBC Peon Club (RPC) for exactly seven years. Forget the exact date, perhaps the 13th, but ultimately it is amazing how times zooms, flies, explodes in your face like that.

Yes, who would have known that one morning’s self-inquiry, probably based on too much coffee about the possibility of working in IT would tsunami upon 7 years of my life? That’s the way the cookie crumbles I guess.

As such I am looking for other alternatives, not because I hate my job. I actually enjoy being a wing nut in RBC’s IT geek machine. However, my health has not been the best for a while and the thought has cross me that perhaps a change would prove beneficial. Do something more creative, more laissez-faire, more freedom: So most likely a pay cut.

Of course I have no one to point a finger at except myself. ‘Your career is always in your hands,’ says any XYZ Corporation. So it is of no shock RBC would say the same. Sure they hired me in a field I did not go to school for; sure they threw a bunch of money at me and promoted me to the same management level as a branch manager within a year. But I think it is time that I start thinking about myself. Not just because it is in my best interest but in theirs are well. Wow, I AM a swell guy. Call me Mr. Altruistic.

And I think everyone owes it to themselves to be as altruistic as me. It seems that I keep on meeting people who are sticking around their jobs not because they enjoy it (cheers to those of you who do) but because of their pay (read: it’s safe), stock options or benefits. I mean, why? Is that the price of doing things we rather not be doing?

Or is it something more? Like: FEAR? It is no secret most people are afraid of the unknown and throwing themselves in the wind in the hopes of facing in the right direction can be nerve wracking. But what better way to incite change than impending doom?

Some would say ‘Hey, take that bitch up and use it.’ Okay maybe not in those exact words, however the point is there for anyone to take, make it your own and run with it to the nearest paid-by-the-hour motel.

As such, I am currently working in making sure that I do not hit an eight-year anniversary, not because I want to leave the bank, oh no, but because I am just an altruistic type of guy.

New York – Tensions about avian flu outbreaks around the world are flying high as the media and the World Health Organization continue to warn us of an incoming judgment day where riots, paranoia and anarchy will rule supreme right up until the bit where we all keel over and die.

Fear on the grapevine is spreading like wildfire and can be found on almost all levels of human society. ‘There are rumours of underground factions working in conjunction to bring an end to humanity and usher a feathered Utopia as foretold in one of our many Holy texts.’ Said Reverend DaFellinci, ‘Not sure which one, but I am sure it is in there somewhere, probably written in some sort of code.’

‘Homo Sapiens are under attack.’ Added retired NYU Professor Frederick Andhaje, ‘Chicks are behind the pandemic. Some of them escape from farms you see, and get together in packs. I can almost see it, some seedy red-lit hideout, toying the avian flu back and for between each other, masterminding how they will transmit it onto us. I do not need to have forgotten my pills to know those chicks are up to no good.’

A few sketchy online sources describe underground bunkers representing a clear and present danger to out existence. On one www.thefeatheredfarside.com an article by a forum member who wished to remain anonymous stated: ‘not in a million years would I have ever thought the fourth Horseman to be a chicken.’ The author finished his essay with this grim statement ‘…I am hypothesizing the existence of a vast network working in isolated cells, working independently from each other. Thus making it very hard to track them down. Novus Ordo Mundi man! Novus Ordo Mundi!’ Since this story was printed the site has mysteriously gone offline.

Until the reckoning day comes Media analysts admit the best thing citizens can do is educate themselves about the danger and watch more TV. Just last week, most American channels from ABC to CNN showed no less than five movies of the week and prime-time documentaries highlighting and surmising our avian pandemic demise. When asked if the media was basing their obviously exaggerated portrayal of the flu on fear and the May Sweeps, a NBC spokesperson said ‘Well, duh.’

Naperville – Phillips R. Sacks, a veteran greeter at the local Wal-Mart would like to let Mary Reighton know he is still waiting at Kit-Kat Tsunami, a trendy downtown pool lounge and tobacco shop to begin their first date.

‘Sure, she didn’t seem interested at first, but things change. I remember there was a time last week when she wouldn’t even talk to me. Persistence pays off.’

The date began last Friday night when he arrived at Kit-Kat at around 8:00pm. Mr. Sacks spent the first three hours playing pool, then had a few beers and since then has sustained himself on a mixture of free peanuts, water and lots speciality coffee. ‘Women are always late so I don’t think much of it.’

Andrew Beers added his establishment being open 24/7 is what has kept him from removing Mr. Sacks from the premises. We normally have a $5 per person seating policy and he has been spending $5.25 every hour he’s been here. I want the good folk of Naperville to know Kit-Kat stands by its policies. Even if he starting to reek. So if you want to have a good time Kit-Kat is the place to be. Remember we do parties, weddings and catered events; look us up in the yellow pages. Our prices ar—’ When reminded the article was about Mr. Sacks endeavour, he added ‘Yeah, what a chump. He hasn’t moved off that sofa and the wait staff are beginning to complain. If he stays for another day, the stench is going to get pretty bad. The moment he runs dry, he is out of here.’

Mr. Sacks met Miss Reighton at his job where she was a customer. ‘It was attraction at first sight. Mind you she gave me quite the chase. I almost lost her twice, around the toy aisle and when she hid in the women’s change room. She was sneaky, she thought I would not dare but that is how you impress a girl.’

Mrs. Reighton was contacted but we were unable to reach her for comment.

Naperville – Phillips R. Sacks, a veteran greeter at the local Wal-Mart would like to let Mary Reighton know he is still waiting at Kit-Kat Tsunami, a trendy downtown pool lounge and tobacco shop to begin their first date.

‘Sure, she didn’t seem interested at first, but things change. I remember there was a time last week when she wouldn’t even talk to me. Persistence pays off.’

The date began last Friday night when he arrived at Kit-Kat at around 8:00pm. Mr. Sacks spent the first three hours playing pool, then had a few beers and since then has sustained himself on a mixture of free peanuts, water and lots speciality coffee. ‘Women are always late so I don’t think much of it.’

Andrew Beers added his establishment being open 24/7 is what has kept him from removing Mr. Sacks from the premises. We normally have a $5 per person seating policy and he has been spending $5.25 every hour he’s been here. I want the good folk of Naperville to know Kit-Kat stands by its policies. Even if he starting to reek. So if you want to have a good time Kit-Kat is the place to be. Remember we do parties, weddings and catered events; look us up in the yellow pages. Our prices ar—’ When reminded the article was about Mr. Sacks endeavour, he added ‘Yeah, what a chump. He hasn’t moved off that sofa and the wait staff are beginning to complain. If he stays for another day, the stench is going to get pretty bad. The moment he runs dry, he is out of here.’

Mr. Sacks met Miss Reighton at his job where she was a customer. ‘It was attraction at first sight. Mind you she gave me quite the chase. I almost lost her twice, around the toy aisle and when she hid in the women’s change room. She was sneaky, she thought I would not dare but that is how you impress a girl.’

Mrs. Reighton was contacted but we were unable to reach her for comment.